In her deeply personal new memoir, The Next Day: Transitions, Change and Moving Forward, philanthropist Melinda French Gates shares for the first time the intimate and emotional story of how she told Bill Gates she wanted to separate after 27 years of marriage.
The pivotal moment, as she recounts, took place in February 2020 on a trip to New Mexico that she had originally planned to take alone. Instead, she invited Bill to join her.
The trip was already tinged with symbolism—upon arrival, Melinda learned that the rental home they had booked was only available because the couple who lived there had broken up.
“Although we tried to treat it like any other vacation, something had shifted,” Melinda writes in the book, reflecting on the emotional weight of the trip.
On the final night, she gathered the courage to tell her husband that she wanted to start living apart.
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“It was one of the scariest conversations I’d have had,” she writes in an excerpt obtained by People. She describes Bill’s response as “sad and upset,” but also “understanding and respectful.”
At the time, their youngest daughter, Phoebe, was a senior in high school. Melinda suggested staying in their Seattle home with Phoebe until she graduated, maintaining some stability for their family amid a growing emotional divide.
Despite their personal turmoil, the couple continued to present a united front for the sake of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, the global philanthropy organization they co-founded and led for two decades.
But behind the scenes, Melinda was beginning to accept that their marriage had come to an end.
That summer, the two had what Melinda describes as a long and sometimes “tender” conversation, in which she told Bill she wanted a divorce. The moment was as difficult as it was defining.
“Bill has a reputation for being one of the toughest negotiators in the world,” she writes, acknowledging how tough the months ahead would be as they worked to disentangle not just their personal lives, but their intertwined public roles and business interests.
The emotional strain took a toll on her mental health. Melinda reveals that during this period, she “started having panic attacks,” a stark reminder that even the most accomplished public figures are not immune to the emotional chaos that often accompanies the end of a long-term relationship.
The divorce process was “grueling,” Melinda admits, but once they reached an agreement, things moved swiftly.
In May 2021, the couple announced their split with a joint statement that emphasized mutual respect and continued commitment to their philanthropic work.
The following year, Melinda spoke publicly about some of the factors that contributed to the end of their marriage, including Bill’s controversial friendship with Jeffrey Epstein, the convicted sex offender who died by suicide in jail in 2019 while awaiting trial on sex trafficking charges.
Speaking to CBS, Bill later called his relationship with Epstein a “mistake.” However, Melinda said that friendship was one of the many things that eroded her trust in him.
Another blow came in the form of an alleged affair Bill had with a Microsoft employee—something Melinda says she worked to move past but ultimately couldn’t forget.
“Trust is built slowly and can be broken in an instant,” she suggests in her writing.
Despite the heartbreak, Melinda remains focused on moving forward. She and Bill share three children—Jennifer, 28, Rory, 25, and Phoebe, 22—and continue to co-parent and collaborate on their foundation’s mission to address global health and development issues.
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Her memoir, which hits bookstores on April 15, is about more than just her divorce. It is a broader reflection on change, resilience, and the courage it takes to begin again.
The title, The Next Day, captures the essence of that journey—the idea that no matter how painful the present is, there is always a tomorrow waiting.
By opening up about her personal transformation, Melinda Gates offers an honest and inspiring look at what it means to reclaim one’s voice, set boundaries, and step into a future shaped by strength and self-discovery.
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