As we approach the end of the month, TV screens around the world are bracing for the ultimate daytime show finale.
In a move hailed as “groundbreaking” by three fans on Twitter, ABC’s ‘The View’ has announced that its grand finale will feature its first-ever silent roundtable discussion.
That’s right. After decades of heated debates, it’s time for a mellow departure – or so they hope.
For those who haven’t kept up with ‘The View’ news – yes, both of you – the show’s hosts will refrain from verbal communication for the entirety of the last episode.
Instead, they will express their opinions using a series of complex hand gestures and facial expressions, paying homage to the lost art of mime. A bold move for a show that has long thrived on argumentative discourse, or as some may call it, cacophonous banter.
Our inside source at ABC, a perpetually disgruntled coffee intern, shared an exclusive snippet of the rehearsal: “They’re currently arguing about climate change using interpretative dance. It’s definitely an acquired taste.”
This unusual decision has raised a few eyebrows, and a considerable number of questions: Will Joy Behar’s sarcasm translate into mime?
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Will a rolled eye be equivalent to a sharp retort? Most importantly, will the viewers be provided with a dictionary to decipher this new silent language?
Rumor has it, the ABC execs themselves were initially skeptical of this idea.
However, they finally gave in when the producers made an irresistible argument – with zero words, there would be zero chance of a host making a gaffe that would set Twitter on fire.
“We’re embracing the future of television,” said a vaguely optimistic network representative. “Who needs words when you have expressions? This way, our co-hosts can simultaneously discuss, disagree, and destress, all without making a sound.”
Despite the optimism, there’s no doubt that the co-hosts have a challenging task ahead of them. After years of crafting powerful arguments, they now must turn to their facial muscles and hand movements to express their views.
On the bright side, they no longer have to wait their turn to speak, so we can expect a lively (if silent) round of overlapping mime debates.
From the viewers’ perspective, this might turn out to be the most peaceful episode of ‘The View’ ever aired.
Imagine, a whole hour of television where you can’t be shouted at through the screen. You may not understand a single thing being ‘said,’ but at least your eardrums will thank you.
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We hope this experiment works out, and that the co-hosts can successfully create an engaging dialogue without uttering a word.
If not, we may just bear witness to the first-ever silent train wreck on daytime television. Either way, it will certainly be an episode to remember – or mime about in years to come.
And if you haven’t figured out that this article is entirely satire just just yet, it is. Hope you got a good laugh, please share!!
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A bunch of a-holes, who cares what they do.
Oh happy day when that old hag show gets cancelled. We can use cardboard cut outs of those demonic faces for dart boards!
I love the View.
Finally gone
Thank God they’re shut down forever. They’re the most evil, horrible, despicable, dishonest women created on earth.
I have never watched it and I never will.
The only time I watched the trash was when it was on somebody elses TV. Every one of you ladies will be judged by Jesus Christ in the end. My prayer is that you will see your evil ways and repent of your sins. Jesus says the only way to heaven is to believe in him, and follow him. So make your decision fill Jesus or condemn yourself to hell. You will be totally separated from God’s love., Funk about that, no communication with anyone, family and friends. What a horrible way to spend eternity!
So disappointed I thought it was true, but these woman couldn’t keep their mouths shut for an entire show so I knew it was fake news like everything else that is said on this show.